You did it!! You asked for a pay rise, you negotiated, or maybe you were finally recognised for the value you’ve been delivering quietly for months (or years). Either way, your pay just went up. Cue the confetti, right?
But here’s the thing no one really talks about; sometimes, that first pay rise doesn’t feel like the win you expected. It can stir up guilt, imposter syndrome, pressure to “do something smart with it,” or even a sense of “now what?”. And that’s okay.
Let’s unpack it.
The 3 emotions that can get in the way of a pay rise
1. Pressure
One moment you’re celebrating, the next everyone has an opinion: invest, save, donate, upgrade – “just do something smart with it.”
The truth? Yes, building financial literacy is empowering, but so is giving yourself permission to pause. You don’t have to have the perfect plan on day one. Sometimes the smartest money move is simply taking a little time to breathe, reflect, and align your decisions with what matters most to you.
Tip: Even setting aside a small portion of your pay rise in a separate account can give you options while you figure out your next step.
2. Imposter syndrome
Thoughts like “Did I really earn this?” and “What if they realise I’m not worth it?” are common. But here’s the reality: your pay rise is not luck or charity. It’s recognition of the value you bring.
In Australia, women are still paid on average 13% less than men, and only 36% of women negotiate pay rises compared to 51% of men (WGEA, 2024). That gap isn’t about your ability. It’s about the systemic barriers you’re helping to dismantle simply by stepping up and asking for more.
Tip: The next time self-doubt creeps in, reframe it. Keep a “wins list” of your achievements, feedback, and moments you’re proud of. It’s a powerful reminder that you deserve to be where you are, and to keep going further.
3. Guilt
You might feel guilty for earning more than your parents ever did, or for outpacing friends who are still grinding. That guilt is real and is often rooted in loyalty, empathy, and an unspoken sense of fairness. But here’s the truth: your growth doesn’t take away from anyone else’s. It shows what’s possible, for you and for them.
Tip: When guilt shows up, try shifting the focus. Ask yourself, “How can I use this opportunity to support my goals or to help open doors for others?” That way, your success becomes a ripple effect, not a burden.
Turning a pay rise into power
Your first pay rise isn’t just about the number, it’s about what it represents: growth, recognition, responsibility. It’s also your launchpad toward bigger dreams, like owning a home or financial independence.
Here’s how to anchor yourself:
- Celebrate. Quietly or loudly, but mark the moment. You earned You earned this.
- Revisit your money goals. Even a small pay bump can accelerate your path toward homeownership. Could you increase your savings?
- Talk about it. The more we share stories around negotiation and money, the more we normalise it and reshape the narrative.
- Give yourself grace. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Progress is enough.
Top 5 tips for negotiating a pay rise that every woman should know
If you haven’t asked for a pay rise yet (or are thinking about the next one), here are five tips to walk into the room with confidence:
- Do your homework. Research salary benchmarks for your role, industry, and location. Use resources like SEEK, LinkedIn Salary, and Glassdoor to back up your ask.
- Keep receipts. Track achievements, outcomes, and feedback all year, not just before review time. Data speaks louder than feelings.
- Frame it as value, not need. Instead of “I need more money,” say “Here’s the measurable impact I’ve delivered, and what I can continue to achieve.”
- Practice the silence. Make your ask, then pause. Resist the urge to fill the silence with discounts or apologies.
- Know your floor. Walk in knowing the minimum you’ll accept, but aim higher. Negotiation is often about meeting in the middle.
Tip: Negotiation isn’t confrontation. It’s collaboration. You’re not asking for a favour, you’re asking for fair recognition of your worth.
Taking the Next Step Together
At Penny, we believe in real financial empowerment, not pressure. Whether you’re preparing for your first raise, navigating the emotions after one, or dreaming about what comes next, we’ve got tools, resources, and a supportive community designed to help you buy your first home or investment.
Ready to turn your pay rise into power? Sign up to Penny today and start building confidence in every financial decision.